One of the folks I follow on Instagram posted this recently…
The person who shared this then added some snark, saying that an entire industry just got burned.
Well, those of us in personal development know THIS truth.
And if we’re not admitting this to ourselves, we’re masking some serious truth from ourselves and from the folks who follow us.
So, I’ll be candid and share this as a preface to this post – the intention of this post is to remind myself why I do this in the first place.
It’s lovely to have an altruistic intention and to work toward posterity. However, the most important thing for us to do is to take care of ourselves so we can share what we HAVE. We can’t share something if we don’t have it ourselves.
Here’s my wisdom for the day, as a reminder to myself and to whomever decides to read this (whether it’s immediately after posting or after I’ve become prolific and a well-known expert in the personal development space): Do the work for the sake of doing it. That’s the reward right there – experience, putting in the time and effort, and learning as we go.
I had to reach out to someone who could intimately relate to a struggle I was having, and she gave me this amazing insight: “We don’t realize we had an expectation until it wasn’t met.”
Resentments are the by-product of unmet expectations. It’s totally reasonable to have an expectation when we are envisioning our future, talking about what we want, and taking massive action to bring our dreams into reality. Hey, if we’re doing all the work, we deserve the payoff, right? It makes total sense that we see an outcome, and become piss-babies when we don’t get what we want.
The trouble we run into is that maybe we’re looking too far down the road. We’re focusing on both WHAT we want, and HOW we think we’re going to get it. We put in the time and effort, and sometimes we come up short. All too often, life isn’t on the same schedule we are, and we don’t get what we want right away. It’s totally understandable that most people stop before the miracle happens. It’s disappointing and downright painful when we work our ass off and don’t get what we want when we expected it.
Look, I wish I could be like, “don’t have expectations” and “enjoy the journey.” These are lessons that have been shared with many folks before me and it’s very likely I’ll repeat their sagacity. Yes, there’s merit to these values. These are the tenants that lead to a peaceful state of mind. They really do work.
But sometimes, we just gotta feel a bit shitty.
However, that’s why it’s all the more important to do the work just for the sake of doing it. We help ourselves when we do it, because we’re building up the skill to communicate our message, to serve our community (audience, following, members, clients, students and such) and to keep growing. The more we do, the better we get. It’s more than just practice – it’s doing.
I have to remind myself of this, because I have an ability that doesn’t get utilized enough because I fucking FREEZE when I think about pitching and “selling” my services. And because EVERYTHING is a numbers game (self-promotion included), I get discouraged when I don’t get a “YES” right away. One of my business mentors shares that it took him months to finally get well paid as a professional speaker. He had to send out a LOT of emails and talk to a LOT of people. That’s the part that scares the shit out of me.
Which means that’s the thing to work on doing more.
Wow. Okay so that’s what’s next.
(you just witness a breakthrough. I hope it’s helpful!)
Let’s keep moving forward together, dear one ♥